For a continuation of our Wizarding World adventures, go check out what Jenni posted today HERE and HERE.
As for me, I’m taking a dive into dangerous waters… – Fifty Shades of Grey. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? I am one of the few who have chosen not to read this best-selling trilogy-of-the-moment – and don’t worry, I’m not getting ready to launch into a 50-point diatribe, but I did want to share my simple reasons for coming to this conclusion. – No judgment here if you have already read it – or plan to. My only goal is to make you think.~
So. In blogland things seem to come in rather explosive waves: chevron patterns, enormous turquoise JCrew bauble necklaces, Shabby Apply giveaways, and currently: Fifty Shades.
I’ve heard detailed reports from several people now who have read the series, and so I feel like I have a decent grasp of what’s contained between the covers of these novels: a poorly written manuscript, sadomasochism, a traumatic past meets innocent virgin and they eventually fall in “love”, oh yeah, and lots of sex. –
My initial reason for avoidance was my extremely graphic mind – when I see or read something, it becomes forever vividly ingrained. And those images come back to haunt me at the most inopportune times. It’s why I simply can’t watch scary movies, or read bloody death scenes. I can’t handle them. I have nightmares. I get extremely paranoid. I’ve found out the hard way where my personal boundaries lie.- But just this week, as I read review, after review, after review, my reasoning has changed angles a bit.
I’ve been recently challenged to remember my quest, my goal: to live a life of intentionality, and I started thinking about how I could apply this modus operandi to the realm of entertainment. –
Quick back story: I’ve never been one to like sad, depressing, squirmy books or movies. – Sheesh, I have enough sadness and depression in my real life – so why, when I have the opportunity to “escape”, would I want more of the same? I want happy endings, dashing heroes, inspiring heroines, sweet love stories, and wondrous magical worlds, thankyouverymuch! 😀
In the case of Fifty Shades, I’ve really not heard of any redeeming quality found in these books- save the surreal storylines ability to snag your attention. I’ve only heard of the hurt, the skewed “love”, the bad dialog, the degradation of women, and the exposure to a very twisted view of the sacred wonder that is, ahem, marital relations (call me a prude).
I get the addiction…girls, why do you think so many men are addicted to porn? Not because of any quality it possesses…but because it’s like a drug…it sucks you in, and even though it may disgust you to a degree…it’s nearly impossible to escape.
Bottom line question for me was: Would reading these books make me a better person in the end? Would they inspire me? Encourage me? Challenge me? – You tell me: if you’ve read them, do you feel enriched for having done so?
I am given only so many minutes in a day. So many days in a lifetime. I want to fill those moments intentionally, and with positivity (I realize that sounds all sunshine and rainbows, but there is only so much in life we can control, our choice of literature being one of them). I know I fail sometimes – but when an obvious choice is staring me in the face – a choice to invest hours and days into something that will, at best (from what I hear), be counted as wasted time…I think I’m just gonna let that ship sail on by.~
So in conclusion:
There are other options for your summer reading list! Think about it. Life’s short. Read well.
Now I want to hear your thoughts on the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey! Let your voice be heard in the comments below…
Vignettes 
I am in the middle of book two. This is NOT my normal choice for books. However, I have heard all the hype and wanted to see for myself. I think it depends how you choose to “read” the book. There are scenes in the book I could do without, but I see a love story here. He has a deep, disturbing past I agree, but who doesnt (maybe not THAT dark but we all have “baggage”). I see it as that. I see a woman who had fallen for a man that she is helping to become a better person. I can see past the sex. I would hope that people could also see it as well. I have never read a romance novel but I am sure that most of the minor scenes are similar to that. People are so quick to scream out “PORN” here but I dont retain that part personally. I think they are deep books that are MANY multiple layers deep. I think you should give it a sample try (that is how I started), read the first 5 chapters and then decide….just my 2 cents 🙂
Hi Michelle! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on Fifty Shades… I really appreciate you taking the time to do so.~ So would you say overall that you are enriched because of the read?
Thank you, Kristin! Your reasons are the same reasons why I have chosen not to read the books either. Actually, I was feeling that way about Harry Potter, too, and thus have not delved into those books either.
Thanks for reading and sharing Kathryn!
I’m so happy that I’ve found other women with integrity and morals! Just because a book is a bestseller, and it’s being talked up by all the media outlets, does not mean it’s worth reading. Do I really want to spend the limited amount of time I have to read reading something so poorly written and with no redeeming value? Think about what is happening to our culture when books like this become mainstream. Would you want your daughter reading this?
Just a note-I have read the beginning of Fifty Shades of Grey, because I would never give my opinion of a book without trying it.
Thanks so much for your thoughts Sallie! You’re right, it can be ignorant and dangerous to give your opinion on something you’ve never read…I hope my post came across as “my thoughts on other people’s thoughts on the book”. lol 😀 Have a good evening, and thanks again for stopping by!
Yeah I’ll sick with Pride and Prejudice any day! I have that same photographic memory thing too, hate scary overstimulating movies, boo. It makes me sad, and frankly uncomfortable that this series is popular. No thanks!
Meg dear, I hear ya. I always enjoy a good Jane Austen :-)! Hope you and your sweet family are well!
I couldn’t agree with you more, Kristin! Age (and raising daughters) has changed my reading habits drastically. When I was younger, I got sucked into romance novels and read them until I was sick of them. I switched to legal thrillers and burnt myself out on those as well. As I got older and free time became more precious, I began making different choices about my pleasure reading. There’s definitely more of a purpose now, and I totally identify with your choice to live intentionally. It makes all the difference.
Stephanie, I’m so glad you stopped by and took the time to leave your thoughts. I really appreciate the encouragement. Hope your day is a good one – living with intentionality!
PS> I love your outfit! So pretty and lady-like, as always!
P.S. Thank you 🙂
Cute top! And great post! I appreciate your thought process and love your idea of intentional living! I’m curious what your thoughts are on “Christian” bloggers who post glowing reviews and in general rave about how wonderful this trilogy is on their blogs?
Thank you Jess! You are so sweet :-). I try my hardest to stay out of the realm of judgement. All I have the right to speak with authority on, is the way I feel. ~ I hope you are enjoying a wonderful day!
Since we’ve already talked about all this, I will just say that your hair looks incredibly pretty in that last pic. 🙂
Hi J! I was just replying to the comment above yours, when up you pop. 🙂 Why thank you, that is very sweet of you to say! (Shall we contrast it with aaaaalllll the FL pics? – Florida, and my hair, are not friends. The end.)
hello lady!! thanks for the sweet comment on my blog. of course, i thought i’d come check you out. like you, i too, have NOT read 50 shades of gray. in fact, i’m a little absent these days and have honestly missed out on all the hype.
but man, i really appreciate your perspective. not just because i share with you the train of thought, and the realization of “what goes in is what comes out” but because you write and translate your thoughts with such skill and clarity. so, thanks for that!
Twiggy: thank you! You are so very kind! I appreciate you taking the time to stop by and share your views today… Hope your Wednesday has been a good one so far 🙂
I am now on book three. I would say I am enriched for reading this actually. Again, I find this an amazing love story. I take what I read and adapt it to my own life. It has truly made me appreciate the little things (flirting, kisses on my hands,etc) my husband and I share. In fact, it makes me fall in love again. I am confident that not all people will feel this way but I do. In fact, my husband even mentioned I look at him different. After 15 years sometimes you need another love story to respark your own 🙂
Now, in response to a few posts:
I would let me daughter read this IF she was an adult and could appreciate it. She’s only 1 so not now 🙂
I am the children ministry in our church and I feel this way. I don’t judge others (especially fictional characters). I believe God loves us all. Sins and all.
God Bless! 🙂
Michelle, I am so glad you stopped by and left your thoughts here today. I always appreciate hearing different viewpoints – really makes you think… Hope your day is a good one!
Ah, I wish I would have read this wonderful post BEFORE I wasted two nights of my life on the first two books of the trilogy. I managed to do sooo well avoiding the Twilight phenomenon.
Although, I admittedly only read them so that I could dislike them without doing so ignorantly. If that makes any sense. I refuse to read the third one because I know it is only more of the same and will do nothing for my love of reading or the English language. And the people who claim to read it because of the love story, why not read a well written narrative with thoroughly developed characters and correct grammar? And the kinky sex makes up, oh, 75% of the book, so if you are having to “look past” that to actually enjoy the plot, please tell me what is the POINT?
But, I will give it to them. It’s an easy read to get lost in if you have a few hours to waste on a rainy day and can ignore all of the awful parts that make it a truly bad book.
Yes Anna, you’re not the only one I’ve heard those same criticisms from. Thank you for your kind words by the way :-). I am of the same opinion…the qualities that people are praising, I am SURE can be found within a framework of, well, quality – instead of having to wade through so much mire to find the few pearls among the mud.- Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
Also, you can ready my RAVE reviews here, =P
http://www.amarchwedding.com/2012/05/50-shades-of-grey-quasi-review.html
http://www.amarchwedding.com/2012/05/50-shades-darker.html
Kristin – I’m the same with my vivid imagination. I can’t watch scary movies or read graphic novels b/c the images stick with me. I’ve heard both sides when it comes to this series. I think you have to know your self and know what you can handle, what’s good for you and what’s not. Personally, I don’t get a lot of free time to just sit and read and I already have SO many books waiting for my attention. I doublt I’ll be adding these to the list.
Well said on all counts. I’m so glad you stopped by, read, and added your thoughts to the table today.- Enjoy the rest of your evening!
Such pretty photos! 🙂 I am not going to read the book. I totally agree with you in choosing wisely how to invest our time. I have lots of other books to read. Actually just about to start 7!
Hi Jennifer! Thanks for stopping by. You’re so right…time is so limited – when we choose to invest so much of it in one place, I want to make it a worthwhile investment! Hope your evening is a good one…
You just articulated exactly how I feel about so many TV shows. I just feel like I’m wasting my life when I watch them, even if they are entertaining… and I just don’t want to let those moments slip by! 🙂
Excellent point Jen…I can feel the same way about tv shows/movies. I want to be more intentional about those choices too! Thank you for sharing your thoughts… and have a wonderful day!
While I am not a fan of being rude to people and hope you don’t take it that way but honestly I think you’ve wasted time in your life explaining YOUR reasoning behind the books – and continue to do so. Ok…you prefer different books…that is ok as you’ve stated. but move on. responding back to peoples comments or blogging about it would be more time you’ve wasted and you’ve clearly stated we only have a certain amount of time in your life. And yes…this book is CLEARLY not for you or anyone else who shares the same views as you. as I said early…that is ok! Hope you find another fun and fruitful book that will encourage and enrich your life. These books have not done that for me nor tainted my life or views….I just like to read all kinds of books.
You’re absolutely right Liz, everyone is entitled to their own choice of entertainment! I have always felt that way about books, movies, whatever… I certainly never count it a waste of time to share something that I think might encourage or inspire people – or at the very least, make them think. It’s why I am a blogger-and it’s a part of my life’s work. I also am very intentional about making time for those 30 seconds it takes to send a courteous reply to someone who was kind enough to interact with my posts. In my mind, it’s just the polite thing to do! Thank you for visiting, and I hope you have a pleasant day.~
Kristen, I am so with you on watching scary, gory, etc. movies, etc….they “stay” with me too. Hey, I love your outfit AND the great photography of your cute self in that pretty setting. I saw your post over at “Weekend Bloggy Reading”.
Thank you, Miss Kitty, for stopping by 🙂
so great of you to put your opinion on this out there! i haven’t read the books, and am not planning on it because of the same reasons. i recently decided that my time was too valuable to waste reading something that won’t uplift and inspire me. i have this OCD when it comes to reading where if i start a book i must finish it but recently i started a book that was just not interesting to me at all and i found myself hating it and back to the library it went.
on another note – i love your jeans! so cute.
Hi Emma dear – thanks for sharing your thoughts! You’re so right…our time IS a valuable thing. Oh, and on that other note: thank you :-)! Have a wonderful day!