Today I’ve asked my dear blog friend Kate from Something Ivory to share a few of her thoughts concerning marriage with you. I hope you enjoy what she has to say!
In the eight or nine months that I’ve been a blogger, I’ve noticed a trend–behind almost every single blog I read is a woman. But more specifically, behind almost every blog I read is a married woman, and usually passionately so. I know there are also plenty of blogs written by unmarried women but from what I’ve experienced, they are very much in the minority. I really can’t explain it (if you can, please fill me in) but I think it’s so interesting!
As bloggers, we are immersed in this world where so many women are incredibly dedicated to their marriages. It’s beautiful, and encouraging, and inspiring. But it also makes it easy to forget that, as a whole, marriage isn’t doing quite as well as it is in our own lives and in the lives of many of our blogging friends. Too many marriages end. Too many young women are afraid of getting married, or want to get married but can’t seem to make it happen. Too many young men are hesitant to commit, or don’t know how to commit.
I have girlfriends who desperately want to find their partner in life but are frustrated and discouraged by the lack of seriousness in so many of the men they meet. I also have girlfriends who have jaded, even cynical, ideas about what marriage is like, and I fear for them. It makes me sad that their understanding of marriage is so hopeless.
All of this is to say that as happily married blogging women, we have a job to do! I really believe we have to be ambassadors for marriage. We have to write about it–not only the beautiful parts that make our hearts sing, but the hard parts that remind us of our vows to love our husbands “for better or for worse.” We need to write about what fuels our relationships, how hard we work to be the best wives we can be, and how rewarding it is to give our energy to the person who deserves it the most. We need to write about love. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote that, “It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” Living generously and selflessly for our husbands is fulfilling, it’s joyful, and it will keep our love alive and strong.
And we have to write about what makes marriage so wonderful. The companionship. The unending support. The comfort. The delightfulness of having your husband bring you breakfast in bed. The sacredness of a shared existence. The closeness that comes from experiencing life together.
No, we shouldn’t sugar-coat marriage, as I mentioned before. It’s very important to think and talk and write about the difficulties involved in marriage. But I think most of us would agree that the beauty of it outweighs the rest. If you’ve ever had a friend who is waiting to find the one, wanting to give her heart to a deserving man, trying to be patient but feeling so alone, you know that it’s a wrenching thing to witness. It makes you realize that those of us who have found our husbands are so blessed.
Hopefully, by being intentional (one of dear Kristin’s favorite words) in this, we can each play a small role in shifting the culture that currently surrounds marriage in our modern world. So that more women find true love. So that more men begin looking for it, and in the right ways. So that more husbands and wives are inspired not to give up, and so that more marriages thrive.
Thanks so much for having me, Kristin!